“But it's the most wonderful time of the year!” an excited Pureblood said happily to their fellow.
“No, that’s giftmas”,the other hisses, “this is most definitely NOT the most wonderful time of the year. TVs reenacting strange rituals, Nemesis going out of their way to cause terror and mischief, these are things that don’t match my definition of ‘wonderful’”.
"That Devil Wind blew strong that night and I could not hear much... but I swear I heard something about a map", he mused drunkenly, the wine sloshing out of the rusty can he used as a cup all over the table.
"A MAP!", the Lascarian youth yelped excitedly, bouncing off the ground in glee.
"Keep it down…..yeah…..a map and it leads ya some place. They call it Bullet Island or something...they said there was a lot of power..."He looked at his ammo bag strapped along his waist, noticing it's lack of weight and girth through his stupor. "I need me a few new rounds....so let's see if I can find me this map..."
“I am so goddamn sick of these goddamn channel surfers and their goddamn fucking bullshit holier-than-thou preachy ass horseshit! I’d rather lay down and die than give these pumpkin fuckers the satisfaction of rising up against them.
You don't own me! You hear that you unoriginal edge lords?! You don't own Cletus Marcus Patrone the Fourth!!!”
“What the fuck is going to happen to my letter to Billie?!” The young Vegasian cried, clutching locks of her hair in her hands. “How is she going to know that I love her?! She will forever be in the dark, wondering if our tryst in Eden meant anything! What am I going to do if half the Postal Service is DEAD?”
Her friend, visibly annoyed while applying a new layer of lipstick, responded without much enthusiasm, “Oh my gawd, Holly. Write another letter?”
Gasping with newfound joy, Holly squealed, “Ahhh! Aria! What a fantastic idea!” Her face fell almost immediately, “But wait...how will I send it if there is no one to carry it?”
Aria shrugged, “Oh, I heard there is a new Postmaster and she’s looking for recruits.”
Holly’s smile grew across her face. “I need to meet this person. Now.”